Winning Back My Ex - Do It In Four Steps

Although the pain of a breakup is not unfamiliar, it is significantly unpleasant for anyone who experiences it. It's one of the most profound feelings of loss that you can imagine, and it feels similar to a kick in the gut. While most people know exactly what a breakup feels like, most continually miss their opportunity to get back together with their ex - or they make too many mistakes to make it feasible overall. The good news is that reconnecting with your ex is completely possible, as long as you're willing to put in the time and effort to make it happen.

Step One: Don't Put Up a Fight:

It is absolutely normal to want to fight for what you want and what you value. Relationships fall into that category nicely, and under normal circumstances, fighting for your relationship and your partner are admirable traits. All that changes when you break up, however. You'll still want to fight because you still have feelings for your ex, but you need to resist the urge at all costs. Not to sound too dramatic, but the future of your possible relationship with your ex may just depend on it.

As contradictory as it may seem, the best thing you can do in the heat of the moment is to keep your cool and not let the emotions get the best of you. See it as a means to an end. The calmer you can remain in the face of adversity; the better off you will be in the long run. Not only does it make your ex's perception of you more positive, but it can eliminate the need for embarrassing apologies or back peddling later on in the process.

Step Two: Don't Outlive Your Welcome:

While the compulsion to linger and try to make yourself a continued part of your ex's life, this could have the opposite effect that you're actually trying to accomplish. Truth be told, you may not even have to bother at all. Your ex chose to walk away from the relationship, but they probably haven't vanished for good. There's a high likelihood that they're keeping tabs on you. They keep an eye on what you're doing for a couple reasons - firstly, to see if you're going to do anything crazy post breakup. Secondly, as twisted as it sounds, it's possible that they get an ego-boost if you take the breakup hard. It allows them the comfort of feeling desired and sought after and can give them the strength to keep the breakup going.

By keeping a low profile and removing yourself from any easy access your ex may have, it triggers a natural and completely uncontrollable curiosity on their part, They suddenly have no way to keep track of you, and their questions don't have obvious answers. The will want to reach out and communicate again since they won't be able to monitor how you're doing on a semi-regular basis. This can be a huge advantage for you. By encouraging and enhancing that curiosity simply by staying below the radar, you are enabling the need for them to be more direct - and that means attempting to reestablish contact sooner rather than later.

Step Three: Redefine Yourself:

Instead of seeing this time as a depressing mess of loneliness and pain, see it as an opportunity instead. Now is the time for you to decide who you want to be - and then put those desires into immediate action. Don't become someone that is completely out of character - but you can redefine your own boundaries, your own comfort levels and your own self-confidence. Chances like these are exceedingly rare, so it's important to take them while you have the chance. You never know when another opportunity is going to cross your path.

Instead of jumping on the pity-party bandwagon, put yourself on the road to reconnection instead. This reconnection has nothing to do with your ex, ultimately. It's about you reconnecting with yourself - and that's even more important than factoring in another person. If you can use this time to your advantage, you have the upper hand. Your ex is certainly not expecting you to take the initiative to make a change - and certainly not in a way that boosts your self-esteem and your overall confidence. This will increase their attraction to you, especially if it reminds them of the person they initially fell in love with - and that can in turn cause them to fall in love with you anew.

Step Four: Don't Push Your Luck - Make Your Ex Become the Pursuer:

Along with the above mentioned step two, staying away from your ex becomes absolutely critical in the last and final step you need to win your ex back for good. Chasing your ex may be your first instinct but any attempt to pursue them will only succeed in pushing them away from you - possibly for good and you will never win your ex back.

The trick in this final stage is to make your ex interested in you again. Once your ex starts to miss you, there is an obvious void in their life where you used to be. They may try to reach out and establish contact - but you need to keep your distance now more than ever. The more they miss you, the more they will want to reach out and reconnect. Their focus is going to turn from their new single life back onto you - and that's exactly where you want it to be.

Having a plan is absolutely critical if you want to increase your chance to rekindle your romance. If you make one too many mistakes in the process, you may just scare your ex off permanently and you'll never get another chance.

What To Do Next

It is not an easy time for you right now, being dumped can be painful. Hopefully you Now see that your situation can turn around with a little planning, willpower and patience. Make sure that you avoid these break up mistakes before you do anything else. A lot of people have no idea that they are doing these things and how damaging it can look to your ex. Be honest with yourself and modify your behaviour accordingly, you will be surprised how your ex reacts to you.

Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/winning-back-my-ex-do-it-in-four-steps

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